5K - The 'K' stands for Killer Hard

I was planning on running a 5K here in DC but ended up running it in Denver instead. You know the Mile High City... Oh Boy... Altitude anyone!? I thought my lungs were going to rip right out and fall on the pavement. Not to mention I think their must have been a total of 8 steep hills or something close to that. 

I was just proud to finish and I beat my goal time and did it in 39:02 minutes. Not bad for someone who picked up running just 6 weeks ago after years of being couch junky!

The Phillips Crew - Super fun family activity

I was just jumping for joy because I survived

Today I read an article called Coping with the Heartache of Miscarriage and the women expressed a lot of things that I felt. The article title I feel was a little misleading but I think they did a great job of showing others experiences and showing that the pain you're feeling is more then okay. If you know someone who has gone through this, I think this gives a good insight into what they might be feeling afterwards.

 "It’s hard to say good-bye when you never had the chance to say hello. I may never be able to hold them in my arms, but I will always hold them in my heart. They are part of me. Because of them, I walk softer. Life is more fragile, more precious."

"My arms ached to hold my baby... I felt vulnerable and afraid that I might lose another child... I had planned our baby’s future. When the baby died, that future died."

"All I wanted was someone to hug me and sympathize. I just wanted someone to be there and care."

"Although statistics on the frequency of miscarriage vary widely, most indicate that miscarriage is fairly common. Yet that fact does not lessen the pain of those who experience this trial." - Easing the Pain of Mascarriage by Summer Thorp

Now for Healing

Click in Moms has a great article on the subjecting of getting yourself out of life's slumps, it is basic knowledge but sometimes it helps to have someone remind us of what we need to do next.

What next? How do I move on and learn to heal?

I don't fully know the answer to this questions, I know it will be a long process and I think I will have many moments where I remember, "Oh yeah I'm not pregnant anymore." The mornings are usually the worse when I wake up and my mind does this quick replay of the last couple weeks and I have to quickly relive it before I get out of bed in the morning. Or when the little girl I nanny asks me "Martha, are you a mom... why not!?" over and over. I walked past some strollers in a store the other day and promptly burst into tears. I just sat on weight machine at the gym yesterday and cried, it just washes over me no matter where I am. But this is about moving on and smiling again.

This quote has brought me a lot comfort by Elder Wirthlin:

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

- I am going to get my nails done and go to lunch with a friend

- Lay in bed with my husband and just be with each other

- Go to a Yoga class and lift weights

- Let my husband spoil me with dinner and a date

- Play sonic and sega racing with my husband {I always get really goofy and riled up}

- Try my absolute best to be happy for all my pregnant friends because it really is a miracle
- Appreciate all the things people have done for me
- Pray! Attend the temple
- Focus on all the things I am doing now and will do before we start our family
-Enjoying alone time with my hubby and our spontaneous life together
- I want to reach my final goal of losing 20lbs and stay healthy for the next pregnancy

Sharonjohnsonphotography.com
She sent me this photo of Taylor and I when she heard the sad news. It made me weep! Such a sweet gesture  :)
My funny buck tooth smile and all this is pure joy caught on camera. I know we will find many more moments to bend over and just laugh out loud!

Our Journey and Deepest Sorrow

A lot happened while away visiting my family - unfortunately Taylor couldn't come with me

I want to share our journey

During my miscarriage I constantly kept thinking back to a post my friend Sharon made about her experience. Everyone kept telling me how "natural" this was along with the sad statistics of 25% of first pregnancy's ending in miscarriage. But nothing about those days felt natural to me, my body and especially not my emotions. I knew that if anything I wanted to use my experience to hopefully affect someone else's life in a positive way. I have been keeping journals since the beginning and want to share them not for pity but because this is what life is, it is about sharing our joy, sorrow and experiences.

March 21^st, 2012 – The Decision

How did I know we were ready to make such a life altering change? This Christmas disaster struck my life in a really personally way I had never felt before - my best friend of eleven years committed suicide. It caused me to sit down and really evaluate my life and figure out what was most important to me. The answer to that questions: the Lord and my Husband. It really came down to what mattered in the eternal perspective and that I loved my family and that was my true desire in life is to have my own family. I decided to graduate early with my associates and evaluate my life further but take it one step at a time. 

March 23^rd, 2012 – Unknown Love

After we made our educated decision this is where the love and excitement started to grow. The decision had been made and the idea of our child became real and this unknown love started to swell inside us and in our home. 

I don't think I realized you could love someone so much already before even knowing them but there is already a spot in our hearts for this bundle of joy who we hope will come into our lives in maybe 10 months who really knows.

March 27^th, 2012 – Waiting

Now I think the hardest part is the waiting. {Little did I know this was the easy part}

April 1^st, 2012 – Impatience

Negative. Taylor kept starring at it thinking maybe if we waited long enough that second pink line would appear. But I wasn’t worried I knew it was wrong. But during the day I had this sad realization that it is very plausible that I am not pregnant. I shed some tears and buck up.

April 3^rd, 2012 – Our hopes were in vain

Still negative. The reality of the fact like I am not pregnant sinks in. There is no baby yet, my heart filled with an empty sadness even though I know it isn’t permanent. I crawl back into bed to fall asleep.

April 4^th, 2012 – Enjoyment

The only thing left to do is wait till next time to try all over again in two months (because I don’t want to be due right at Christmas) but in the mean time I am going to buck up and appreciate the months I have left with my body, my happy stomach and enjoy them! I can try to lose those 8 extra lingering pounds these next two months. I am going to get enrolled in some Yoga classes and I am going to find a fun job and explore Virginia when we get there.

July 17^rd, 2012 – Too Perfect?

The summer of selling is coming to a close and everything seems to be falling into place. I have graduated, found a school that will help me get on a career path that is family and baby friendly. We are moving into our dream apartment in the fall and we are finally getting some real savings in place… everything seems too perfect. I called my Mom is tears and told her everything seemed too good, the storm has finally calmed after the loss of my friend and everything is happening just how I want it – which only meant something bad was about to happen. I just don’t know what it was, but it can’t be that big right!? Not after everything I went through this last semester, I feel I have already exceeded my trail limit this year!

July 29^th, 2012 – Jumping for Joy

I am jumping up and down tears running down my face and I am squealing. I can't even process the amount of blissful joy running through my body it all comes out in high pitch noises and tears of gratitude. After many months of trying and hoping I finally got a positive pregnancy test. And another. And another. It is definitive... I am pregnant. I am carrying our child!!! All this love that we have been building up over the months is finally going towards someone, our baby, our baby inside Me!

August 4^th, 2012 – Tragedy Strikes

Morning: I sent Taylor all the updated info on what would be happening in the fifth week. Our babies heart is going to create it's four chambers today and start a more regular heart beat. It is also just formed into an Embryo - this single fact made me so happy that I went around telling all my sisters. I was so proud of our little guy/gal growing soooo fast!!

Noon: I lay on the floor screaming out in pain, agony, anger, doubt, and confusion. I finally let the words leave my lips, "My Baby is Gone" then I repeat them over and over again until the deep moans and sobs of agony take over my whole body.

Night: The only reason the tears have stopped is because I think my body has literally run out of tears. I feel numb, and shocked. When I left my husband arms last I was carrying our child and in a matter of hours my whole life was tipped upside down and tossed around. I can't even find sufficient words to describe how I feel and what this day has done to me. Pain is such a simple word, although it was extremely painful physically and emotionally that word only skims the surface.

August 5^th, 2012 – The Longing

Stuck on a loop replaying the agony and trying to make sense of everything. I need to let this pain strengthen me, but right now all I can feel is longing and an ache is my heart that won't stop. I wanted this baby so badly. I am now realizing how insignificant everything else seems. I just walk around and tag along with the family feeling dead inside, cuddling with anyone who is willing in the absence of my husband.

I wanted that baby. Everything inside me aches for that baby.

August 6^th, 2012 – Raw

I lay in bed sore and tender from the trauma my body has endured. My eyes, heart and head beg for sleep after such a long day. Yet I have these waves of Agony that keep me awake lying in bed feeling so alone. No matter how many people send their condolences this pain is still only mine and it feels so raw.

The Proposal - Baby Style

I wish I had a picture but one day this will be hanging in our child's nursery. For Valentines Day 2012 my dear husband wrote me this poem and had it framed as a gift. Then he had me read it out load line by line covering the rest so I didn't know what was coming. I had been talking about wanting a baby for a long time but had never really made the decision to go forward until this.

It was the sweetest thing not to mention romantic!

Decisions

You are truly the love of my life

There isn’t a day that goes by I can’t think of you.

When I think of my best friend

Everything points towards you.

No one makes me laugh more

No one makes me smile more

And no one knows me more

Life has its ups and downs

Sometimes you smile

Sometimes you frown

But when it all matters

In the end you’re always around.

We are together for time and all eternity

Just the thought of that gives me serenity.

I feel comfortable you know my true identity.

Towards you I feel a true amenity.

You are the perfect women,

There’s truly no one better.

When I see your beautiful smile,

I instantly feel so much better.

You have no reason to question yourself.

No reason to say “I’m not sure”, or even “maybe.”

You are so wonderful and amazing,

Martha, will you please have my BABY!

Running App

For those of you who are trying to get into running, and need a little coaching this is a great app. You can have it tell you how far you have gone, your speed, your time, and also set up intervals for HIIT or interval running! I would highly suggest it

Hershey Ville

We decided we wanted to take a little road trip to Hershey, PA

It was really short, but fun and not to mention I did really well not cheating when surrounded by all this  yummy chocolate!

The {second} love of my life!

This guy is my first!

Our drive and tour of Hershey World - with singing cows and all :)

The Worlds Biggest Kiss

The Famous Hershey Hotel

Good Will Treasure

I'v been seeing these teal purses and clutches and pinterest and have been crushing on them hard!

This is one of the treasures I found at the Goodwill it was only $6, it's a textured leather clutch. But you could tell it used to be a purse it had little clips inside. So I bought some chain and made a purse out of it.

My Inspiration from Pinterest 

Ray Home

Today we moved into this beautiful brick home. The Ray's have four kids, the two little girls love me which is an added bonus! They are such a sweet family and we feel blessed that we have the chance to be a part of their home for the rest of the summer.

Another chapter in our crazy adventures of married life.

Also move #6 in under two years!

The Reina's Visit {Insta-style}

Ashley, Mike & Oliver came to visit and they went to this adorable B&B for their anniversary while Oliver and I enjoyed some quality time together. I absolutely loved it, Ashley and I had a blast together shopping and working out together. And Oliver was the funnest cuddle buddy! Having family come to visit was the perfect break for the summer.

{Sorry these are all phone pictures since blogger won't let me upload anything else at the moment}

We also played done Dance Central - I pulled out some awesome dance moves and you might be able to tell who won

National Zoo 

My Cuddle Buddy every morning - look at those big brown eyes

Oliver loved hiding under here

Sometime we just have to be proud of our accomplishments...

Four months ago I was unhappy, sat on the couch feeling sorry for myself and couldn't fit into any of my clothes. I literally had to go by new pants so that I could leave the house not in sweats or yoga pants. It was sad... When my sisters saw me on FaceTime they both said "Ohhhhhh" out-loud. Depressing to say the least.

Now: I have lost 15 lbs

I feel so much healthier, I am happier, my skin has calmed down, my body doesn't hate me, and my old jeans are almost too big to wear! Sometimes I want to cry because I am so overly grateful, and ecstatic that I was able to turn my health around. My Mother is really the one who made it happen, and my husband and sister Ashley have provided me with such an amazing support. This is a really big accomplishment for me. I feel like a new person; Taylor and I like her much more!!

Some things I did to make the change:
Eat 3 meals and two small protein snacks everyday
Cut out sugar 6 days of the week
Work out 5-6 days a week
Lunged my butt off, no literally I would do 100 lunges in one day and my butt really has shrunk
Set up incentives for myself - shoes, new lulu lemon, once I lose 20lbs I am going to buy some new jeans

It takes effort but let me tell you it is so worth it! I can't wait to be a personal trainer and help people make this kind of difference in their own lives.

Big Salad right? This is one of my favourites! 

I eat this for dinner 4x a week (everyday I run and sunday)

I pile up a ton of romaine hearts chopped up, 3 oz chicken, dash of turkey bacon bits, and low cal dressing. The dressing I make is thinner so it can spread over the whole salad, because I hate dry salads!

Ceaser Dressing:

1 tbsp low fat ceased dressing

1 tbsp parmesan cheese

1 tbsp lemon juice

A Wonderful Blessing

I heard a random alarm go off on my phone and this is what it was...

How did I get so lucky!?

He always knows how to put a smile on my face even when he is miles away

Eternity

My ring has always been a little bit too small then with the added heat of this summer I finally stopped wearing it because it was so uncomfortable. I got it resized last week and then finally wearing it around again I have fallen in love with it all over again. 

I just love everything that it means

All the memories that are attacked to it

... and the Sparkle

CPT - Certified Personal Trainer

Health is such a broad topic and there is so much "junk" or people that put out their own plans that are at super hard levels and unsafe for beginners to be taking anything from. So...

I am going to start a new little section on my blog. I know almost everyone out there strives to be more healthy and I would love to help teach you about the NASM model and help you incorporate some things into your own life. I am going to do this considering I am speaking to beginners since this is the target group that will essentially learn the most. I will promise to only preach what I am learning from my textbooks and classes and not be adding to any false ideas or my personal opinion.

There are three phases of training:

1. Stabilization

2. Strength and Endurance

3. Hypertrophy

(Most women will want to skip this phase 3+4 since it is bulking bulkier muscle)

4. Maximal Strength

5. Power

I want to talk a little about phase one of stability. This is a very important phase because it prepares your body, muscle and joints for the other phases. A lot of people skip this phase and this often ends in injury or over working the muscle. This phase helps you strengthen those stabilizing muscles, and increase difficulty by challenging your balance. You also want to do a low load and high repetition.

Things in the gym to help you do this: Stability disk (those half ball looking things), balls, foam rollers, bands, and my favourite TRX.

Example of a superset using this idea would be:

2x 10 reps of push-ups

then

2x 10 reps stability ball push-ups

This will work what is called your prime movers and then immediately after challenge the stability of the same area. This will help you body develop the balance and control needed to lift heavier weights and endurance later on in your journey in the gym!

If you have questions feel free to leave a comment with an email for me to reply

This information was taken from the

NASM Essentials of Personal Fitness Training Fourth Edition

Editors: Micheal A. Clark, Scott C. Lucett and Brian G. Sutton

Advice?

You know you post too many pictures when...

Blogger won't let you load a single picture because you have reached your limit. They want me to pay $4.99 a month to buy more space and deleting old posts doesn't seam to help any.

Luckily I have tricked them buy doing it off an app. on my phone but most pictures I'v taken with my camera

The Storm

Many of you may have heard about the storms in Virginia, and DC. Leaving 2.5 million without power for days and killing many. The numbers kept going up so we lost track, but it was sad to hear it go up a little high each day. Scariest storm of my life and my first natural disaster

This tree fell right outside out window we were blessing it went the opposite direction

This was on a good day, it said 82'F but felt like 110'F
Not to mention to smell of smoking neighbours and bad food

Living by Candle light is harder then it sounds

Sitting on the cool tile floor at the mall till late at night... simply because we have no where else to go.

Drum roll please...

When I was in high school I used to say I was going to be a personal trainer. But life took me in some different directions for the last three years. Now that I have finished with my associates {if anyone remember general classes there painfully uninteresting} I wanted to do something fun, something I wanted for myself. Then I remembered my dream of being a personal trainer...

I have knots in my tummy, and butterflies that make me a little queazy from all the excitement, nervousness, and not to mention hours of more studying ahead of me!

I am now an official student at the 

National Academy of Sport Medicine

I also started my internship today at Gold's Gym

Pit stop

Michelle and I made a pit stop and played with these puppy laberdoodles.

Taylor and I have talked about getting a laberdoodle and I will admit they were pretty adorable!

The Next Step

This is a teaser... a little tiny one and only if you really know me I guess.

I will probably hold it in for about a day before I can't help telling the world but this week I made a decision that is going to change the course of my life. I am really excited, thrilled, anxious and nervous about it. But after five years of thinking about it I am ready to dive into this new challenge that thrills me...

Virginia Adventures w/ Michelle

Michelle is my friend from Canada and high school. It had been a long time since really doing something together but we decided we both needed girl time and she flew to D.C. the next week to hang out! I would say the funnest thing we did was find some amazing deals at the good will store! And swimming in the ocean of course :)

On the boardwalk with Michelle

Virginia Beach

Fresh snack on the beach.. mmm little bit of paradise

Beach Street USA

Riding the Metro into D.C. it was 104 'F
We really did just about die from heat, I did anyways!

Washington Memorial

Lincoln

The White House

The Capital

Frozen Yogurt {Canadian Style}