Journal

During this whole process I have used writing and social media as an outlet. So from now on I am going to try to use out blog as a way to journal and write to other women out there who might be going through the same things as me. I just had a friend over and we chatted about how we have so much gratitude for the children we have but it also doesn't take away from the pain that is in our hearts. Not many people can grasp the complexity or the deep hurt infertility can cause a family. I will never be able to show someone exactly how it feels for us but I can spread awareness and help others through such a hard trial.

I had a lady I had never met call me today and bare her soul to me about her miscarriage experience and as total strangers we wept on the phone together and shared with each other the heart wrenching emotions we had both been going through. This is the reason why I try to share my stories to help others, like she had helped me today. 

I have put my heart out for everyone and I have never felt so vulnerable sharing so much. But I want so badly to help someone who might be feeling guilty, hurt, angry, and confused with the world like I am. I have cried myself to sleep every single night for weeks. I know the lord has felt all these feelings and I was given this trial because I am strong enough. Even if I don't feel like I am, he knows I AM! 

Miracle Baby Sale

For those of you who have followed me for the past couple of years you might know I'v struggled with some health issues and infertility issues for year now. 

We have recently had a second miscarriage, they have assumed I have endometriosis for years and think this is the cause of our two miscarriages and struggles getting pregnant. Since our insurance won't cover the surgery needed, we are having a sale right HERE to help earn the money!

Shop for a cause for many things, headbands, moccasins, bibs, bow ties and more! All you accessories needs for mama's and babies! 

Stock up on baby gifts, or for your little one and know your supporting a family business. 

SHOP HERE

Mae's First Haircut

Mae got her first hair cut, she did such a good job she was happy almost the whole time!

3/24/2014

Sunday at the Park

My mini me!

My obsession with gold shoes at it fullest. We are actually selling these cute gold moccasins for only $19.99 in our shop. Thegoldenpolkadot.com

Mae flying a kite for the first time she loved it and was surprising good at it too!!

She always asks to wear Daddy's hat!

Rubber Ducky

Mae loves the bath and especially loves her rubber duckies!! 

This long little curl at the back is my favourite, sadly it will be gone soon after her first hair cut.

Paleo BBQ Sauce

This doesn't taste like a store bought BBQ sauce but in a good way! I'm addicted, literally I'm just slathering my food in this tasty BBQ treat! Its gluten and sugar free, sweetened natural with honey. Great alternative to the store bough BBQ sauce, and in my opinion is tests amazing!!

Ingredients:

2 tbsp Ghee or Butter

24 oz. strained tomatoes

7 oz. tomato paste

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar

1/3 cup molasses

1/3 cup honey (if you like it sweet)

1/3 cup coconut oil

1 tbsp garlic powder

1 tbsp onion powder

1 tbsp chili powder

1 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper
1 drop liquid hickory smoke

Walkin Around

Mae took her first steps on Christmas Eve. It was such an exciting moment for me to watch her taking her first wobbly unsure steps. For two weeks after this she didn't care to walk again and would cry when stood up and encouraged to walk.

But this week she fit for the courage to start walking around the living room. She still won't walk for an audience but she's getting good practice at home! 

1st Birthday

Hard to believe I had my baby girl over a year ago now. 

I don't think I even have words to describe the amount of love I have for this little girl. Who is currently tickling my feet while I try and write. She is the funniest, cutest little girl and I can't believe she is all ours for eternity!!

First Christmas

Aren't these two just the cutest!! 

Meeting Acorn for the first time (Grandma's Horse) it was so special to see how much Mae loved her. Acorn was a champ and always willing to come let Mae stroke her nose.

4 Generations

Shooting our new re-curve bows out on my parents land. Taylor and I are excited to practice and try to get a good shot.

This cute little girl did so well hanging outside in the cold all day.

The Inside!

Some snap shots of the inside of our house, we really love it here!

11 Months

11 Months - man these months seam to just be flashing by, this is very late.

- Getting into the cupboards

- Walking like a champ along furniture

- Mastering going up the stairs

- Loves her reflection

- Loves to point, especially at photos and mirrors

- When we say "MAE" in a very stern way, she turns around and wags her finger at us knowing whatever she's about to do is a no in our books

That cute face! I mean really, how can that not melt you!

Mae's First Halloween

If you are looking for a photographer in Utah I would highly suggest Paxel Pics Photography she does some wonderful work, always has props and her prices are amazing.

But back to halloween...

I usually don't like this holiday. Even as a kid I didn't like dressing up, I always just wanted to be me. I remember being teased for not dressing up some years. This year I had no intentions of dressing up and didn't have a costume for Mae either. But last minute I decided it would be really fun to dress up together. $3 and 30 min later I had kitty cat costume ready for Mae and I and I have to admit I kind of love how they turned out. Simple, cheap and cute!

When Mae first saw me as a cat she bawled her face off and screamed and screamed until thankfully Taylor came home and helped her realize I was indeed still her mother and not a scary cat. We went to my husbands work party and ate lots of food and had fun playing with Mae crawl around and enjoying family time together.

Here are some photos that Pax took of us.